Have you ever walked home in high heels looking like a drunken penguin? Have you ever worn them all day and found yourself hallucinating a pair of fluffy slippers? Have you ever stumbled in heels at work and almost vaulted into office hottie’s lap? Admittedly a funny topic to blog about as a solo travel expert but trust me, all will be revealed.
One of the best things about traveling alone is having the time to slow down and observe comedy no matter where you are in the world. And yes, that includes shoes! (Just ask an Italian)!
Welcome to the comedic world of high heels and why we just can’t get enough of those seductive little duckies.
Heels? Yes, I love them too but walking in them easily? Forget it, I become a waddling duck whose focus can only be on ‘how the flip am I going to remain vertical’! But get me in a pair of knee length boots (the well heeled version) and I go from wander woman to Wonder Woman (minus the gold lame regalia naturally LOL).
So, what is it about high heels that have women ogling them for hours from the sanctuary of a closet? Why do they make women feel sexy and change personality despite their blister creating prowess? And why do they come first in the pecking order in any well-stuffed suitcase as vacay beckons?
And then there’s pride of place in any self-respecting woman’s closet along with the unmistakable matchy matchy handbag. What is it about looking back at the plethora of color that makes a woman float in bliss (and that no husband can compete with LOL). That sigh of hello babies, love you my little cuties she declares as one lucky pair finds itself in her mits along with matchy matchy on a night out while others are holding fort on dust gathering duties.
As disco night draws to a conclusion, who can forget the feeling of ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh as you sit on the sofa having taken those heels off only to watch your feet expand like inflatables. And don’t forget those blisters that pop up the day after and need a full day – sometimes two – of much needed TLC and a box of band-aids to boot! All in the name of beauty.
No pain no gain it would seem my little croissant! But my question is why?
Changing narratives ever so slightly, imagine being at a luxury event in the company of well dressed guests and someone walks in in Birkenstock’s? Would raise a few eyebrows no? Most certainly! By the end of the night, the woman who dared to be different would be the biggest talk of the town. (At least in the impending chat of the ladies powder room). Mon dieu, how uuugly, ca suffit they whisper among the confines of social etiquette.
But and a big but, (not the Minaj version), who is laughing now? Miss Matchy Matchy Louboutin or Miss Badass In Birkenstocks. My money is on Birky – she’ll be strolling in ease the day after like a mountain-ass Heidi while Loubyloo is resigned to the sofa and foot spa! Miss Birky, it would seem is that rebel who simply doesn’t give a duckie what anyone thinks let alone dress to please to planet. That free soul who does what she wants and couldn’t give a hoot about social cookie cutter conformity. And for that, I applaud!
Flip Flop And Fly Baby
My favorite shoes in 16 years on the road as a solo travel pro have been without doubt, my loyal havaianas and for the sharp-eyed among you, you’ll notice it’s my logo! Those Brazilian pockets of bliss have taken me millions of kilometers without even as much as a squeak.
To me, they are not only cute’n’cozy lightweights but memories packed into my soul. My Brazilien besties and I have frequented many a street and kept me in that floating feeling. Like walking in feathers and silk ones at that. Flip flops? Well, not nightclub friendly but when you’re flying high on life to the dulcet tones of the Bee Gees, who gives a hoot who can see your heels. You wouldn’t get me off the dance floor unless Jason Statham himself came and carried me off.
And then there’s the ahhhhhhhhh of flip flops. That feeling is something else, it’s freedom, it’s rebellion, it’s light, it’s vacation, it’s no responsibility, it’s flying, and it’s that incessant clippety clop. As life is meant to be. As with most things, it’s also perception. In Italy, locals would never been seen in a pair of flip flops in the city. But with anything ‘Made In Italy’, they have a valid excuse.
I’m no miss Birky but heck, I share the ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude. Do what you want. End of!
If High heels Could Talk
And lastly, in comedic homage to high heels, spare a thought for the millions seeking TLC from closets across the globe.
If only they could talk from the boutique shelf, what would they say?
‘Young, sexy type looking for someone to take care of. Not looking to be together forever, but just two nights a week and a few vacays thrown in for good measure! I don’t like being boxed up and love my own space. Hobbies? Love date nights once a month where I can be myself. I don’t mean to boast but I do have multiple uses. For one, I’m a hot shot when you want something quick to throw at your husband when he forgets to take out the trash for the 10th time in the month…I also make a mean microwave dinner opener at 3 am when you’ve been on the booze! Looking for someone who likes short walks. Not good with kids, especially little girls. They wear me out.
Oh and PS amore, love cozying up on the sofa but don’t do sharing with those ugly slippers types. I’m hand made in Italy with love and we Italians love to flaunt all on our own.
Be nice to heels, karma is a beaatch and so too are cobbles!
Until next time…
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