Is solo travel lonely you may be asking as you see the rise of women traveling alone. Have you ever wanted to solo travel but haven’t because you need to be with people to feel good? Does the idea of traveling alone seem too much?
As a solo travel expert with 15 years of destination hopping under my belt, and non-stop I proudly add, truthfully, the times I’ve felt lonely have been rare. When I think about it even now, I’m so accustomed to it that I’ve amazed myself at what I manage to achieve.
I’m someone who loves time with best friends and laughing non-stop. Naturally, there are many times I’d love to have my private jet (fingers crossed Universe lol) zoom them across the skies to put them beside me. However, that’s not the same as loneliness. You have to live life FOR YOU and do things that won’t always keep others happy.
Having been asked the question many times ”is solo travel lonely?”, it’s very funny when people are surprised that I say no.
We are born alone. Bizarre it may seem but it’s true. We’ve been conditioned by well-intentioned people who educated us to depends on others and do things in couples or groups. With that thinking, we’ve stepped away from the real us and become dependent.
Is Solo Travel Lonely? Here Are A Few Reasons Why It Isn’t
Have you ever noticed when you’re having fun that time just flies? You’re so in the zone when solo traveling that nothing remotely sad gets in your pretty little head! Everything you do and see is NEW and this is at the basis of thriving as a traveling alone woman!
When I solo travel, I always have something fun to do, even if it’s a quick cup of Italian coffee and people watching on the terrace of my local cafe. And of course, as we speak, I’m creating new blog content on all things solo travel which I LOVE. It keeps my attention on my passion.
Do you recall a time, maybe even last week when you couldn’t wait to get back home? Perhaps after a long day at the office with a head full of stats and zoom meetings? I’m guessing you craved to just chill out on your own to Netflix, with a well-deserved bottle of wine, and enough cheese to make a Frenchman cry. At times, we crave isolation from people, places, and noise.
So why is this? Put simply my lovely, it’s because you’re being the real you, the true you, the happy you that you were born to be. The same baby you that would happily play with dinky toys on your own for hours and never notice the absence of anyone. When we move away from being the real version of ourselves, we feel the tension.
Let The Cork Float
For some reason, society believes being on your own means loneliness. But let me tell you lovely, it’s not true. It isn’t actually caused by the lack of people as it is the departure from the real you. I love to use the analogy of a cork floating on water and the cork is being pulled down a little. The more you pull, the more uncomfortable you feel. The solution is to just let go, and the cork will float back up effortlessly.
And how do you let go? Take your attention away from it, and do something happy. By this, I mean, find a fun thing to do eg cook some pancakes, (I’ve got a delish recipe in June’s Macaroon Magazine…), or go onto Youtube and watch an old Mr. Bean, my fav, or learn a new skill. There are many options.
My Advice On How To Avoid Loneliness When You Travel
Well, when you solo travel, you’re quite literally having so much fun seeing incredible places, and eating new and delicious food, and trying on new clothing brands you’ve never seen before that you just don’t get time to be lonely.
Often when people eat at a restaurant or cafe, they are self-conscious of being at a table on their own when everyone else is in the company of someone. However, when you sit down and look around, you will see many couples who are not even talking to each other and ooze boredom.
Nowadays too, with cellphones, many have their heads immersed in social media and taking the perfect selfie that they won’t even notice you. And you can laugh because they don’t even see what joys are around them.
Being in cafes as a female solo traveler is one of my absolute favorite things to do. Just to chat with the oldies and hear the stories is a sport you won’t want to give up and will be the making of incredible memories. And it’s so much fun.
If you go to a bar or restaurant, pull up a chair near the staff because they just love talking to foreigners. And it livens up their day. Also sitting at a plaza and just people watching can be such good fun.
As you move around, keep yourself busy effortlessly. Don’t forget, it isn’t you that’s lonely, it is the mind telling you it needs some fun.
The only question to ask yourself next time you feel lonely is ‘how do I feel right now? Am I sad or am I happy? and you will see that it’s simply a readjustment of focus to get back to something amusing.
Loneliness is a perception only which you’ve created unintentionally. Just lean towards something light, and you’ll feel amazing again soon.
My Top Solo Travel Tips For Newbies
- have a go-to list of things that easily make you feel happy
- always make a plan the night before of at least one thing fun you intend to do
- as soon as you wake up, focus on a funny memory or thought
- call or message friends often even if it’s a few minutes
- aim to keep 100 percent mind space on good feeling thoughts
- have a check-in with websites like Youtube, Podcasts, and TV just to listen to people
- arrange at least one ‘new hobby’ activity online eg dance class
- make a list every night of what is going well
So what are you wait for young lady, get those bags packed, and go have the adventure of a lifetime.
PS spoiler alert, you may never want to come back. lol.
If you are asking ‘how do I now start traveling alone?’ and want more on how to plan your very first solo travel adventure you deserve, please click on Solo Travel Masterclass here. I share my 15 years of experience and the mindset to thrive.
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