Have you ever asked yourself ‘is it OK to travel alone when married? How do I tell my husband I want to travel alone? Is it normal to travel without my spouse? Well, the good news my little toasted bagel is you’re not alone. Not only that, but the numbers of people who feel the same way is beginning to increase.
If your husband happens to be reading this, tell him to calm the duckie down. LOL. We’re on his side after all! Let me preempt any mutiny around here by saying this isn’t an anti-couple’s kind of post. Far from it! And in fact, this post can benefit those who are so inclined. With lifestyles continually changing and people looking more than ever at new ways to be themselves, it is possible to bring back that honeymoon feeling.
So read on my little cupcake.. All will be revealed in this crazy world of love as we search for that elusive je ne sais quoi...
Do you ever feel that the man you are married to has become invisible? Are so you familiar to each other that even in the same house, you live in your own bubbles? Do you ever wish (at times) that you had the house to yourself for a while just to be you? There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling this way sweetie and it’s NOT the fault of the man you love.
You see, the very nature of relationships means two people spending significant time together by choice. We know the feeling of being in love. Who doesn’t want the butterflies soaring sky high as if Tom Cruise himself was doing Top Gun loop the loops in your tummy.
There is no denying that love showers our minds in the honeymoon phase. BUT what goes up must come down. And that feeling will mostly likely dissipate over time if you don’t treat each day like the first. The good news is SOLO TRAVEL will bring it back again! Ahhh, how can this be I hear you sigh? Well, trust me and read on and you’ll find out why.
10 reasons why couples should travel alone while married?
Let’s dive in…
- Familiarity – no matter how hard you try, having a partner will eventually mean familiarity. You know what he is going to eat, what he is going to say, what he is going to do etc just as he knows of you. This is one sure-fire way that relationships can feel lazy over time. This isn’t because anyone is doing anything wrong but because as we get cozy, we can get comfortable. We are hard wired to want NEW . A plateau in a relationship is not moving to new and solo travel can be a solution. It isn’t about getting away from someone, it’s about breaking the familiarity by spending time ALONE in a new environment you don’t know. It also means being alone with your own mind and not simply reacting to someone else’s. And that my little toasted bagel means new exciting things can begin to happen.
- No distance – another reason relationships plateau is a lot of time together and especially if people are working from home. Those small habits can be amplified. ‘He left his dirty shoes on the new white fluffy carpet’, ‘we spend every night, pizza and vino-ing in front of Netflix’, ‘he spends date nights with the boys’! He isn’t doing anything wrong, and neither are you. Its just people being themselves. Imagine if you could travel alone while married? It feels incredible to take time to do what you want. Imagine booking into a spa for a weekend and being pampered head to toe and walking out a new you? You could be in the mountains listening to the dulcet tones of nature without a care if he has loaded the dishwasher or not. Imagine having a glass of champagne having just spent the morning shopping and you couldn’t give two hoots if he left wet clothes in the laundry basket. To BE YOU with NO interruptions, distractions, and just you and l’heure de champagne. Bliss!
- The best of you – the biggest plus if you travel alone while married is simply you going back to being you. Couples become of blend of two over time meaning two people most likely pleasing the other one. Being you means you’re not the housekeeper, cook, lover, mother, cleaner, best friend (and so the list goes on). No labels. Imagine! And this is the way you were born and the real you you are meant to be being pulled along on life’s happy path. That’s why you feel good! So why not head to the hills? Come back with the attitude you are going to be more of the real you each day. And why is this good? Because the other half gets the best version of you and not a diluted one.
And then there’s this…
- Back to the beginning – do you remember when you first met? The feeling of wow, yes please. I’ll have some of that. Two souls become the catalyst for each other’s feelings. The point I am getting at is we fall in love with an idea of someone. It’s not even real at the beginning, because we don’t know them. The less you know. the more excitement and curiosity you feel. And once you get to know them, you’ve already got things you want to change. They do the same to you, How crazy is that!!! We all know we can behave like someone we are not. And isn’t it telling that it’s the beginning we wish we could go back to. So why not show your other half what a badass B you are in upping the ante on some solo travel adventure.
- New places, new faces – solo travel means an abundance of new places, and new faces. It also means seeing the world through new eyes. Just to see a new city and spend time people watching gives perspective. You will also be thinking ‘I wish he could see this’ and ‘gosh, I miss him’. YES. You get to miss his little running commentary he normally does when you both go on vacation. BUT it took you to going away by yourself to really appreciate him in that way. Keeping up with me sweetie? To truly appreciate someone, you have to give yourself time to miss him.
- Freedom – one of the reasons many people don’t solo travel is the idea of loneliness and dependency. By this I mean where someone is the source of someone else’s happiness. But imagine experiencing something new like heading off on an adventure where you are so busy having fun, you don’t even notice his absence! Living true freedom means you depending on you (for a change) and amusing yourself. There is such a gift in living this way. And when you come home, you begin to free him from making you happy and being the main source of your fun. It’s liberating and brings a new freshness to people.
- New energy – a few days away means you came back energized and feeling like a new you. And amusingly you would start to appreciate him and his dirty boots too LOL. This new-found you then begins to impact ALL you do and how you see life. And you don’t even mind his habits. You see it takes distance to really appreciate someone. And when you are 24/7, you cannot get that perspective.
And finally there’s this…
- Nobody owns anybody – we don’t own anyone or anything. We are merely passing ships through which joy exudes if we let it. Many hold on for the fear of losing something. It’s the fear of losing it that will eventually mean losing it. But when you ‘let go’ and allow, it will stay as long as you have fun. And there is ALWAYS AN UPGRADE should it fizzle out.
- Upgrading – solo travel invigorates in ways I cannot begin to describe. The freedom to be, do and have what you want without any compromise is life changing! It’s like a new beginning. If you both decided to do this at the same time, imagine the boost when you came home and the feeling it would create inside.
- Appreciation – and lastly my little buttered crumpet, there is gratitude. Often couples are so blended, they don’t take the time to appreciate the happiness they both create. Imagine you were coming home after a few days or months away, and excitement and anticipation of seeing the man you love? And that man you will now see with new eyes. Just like the time in 2020 when you couldn’t go out and were craving the outdoors, when you eventually did, you had fallen in love with it all over again. If you miss him and come home loving him even more, SOLO TRAVEL HAS DONE ITS JOB. Cuddling him will never feel so good.
So there you have it my little tarte au citron! LOVE! Why not LOVE YOU in the quest for happily ever after and bring childhood fairy tales to life? Mix it up, live it up, fire it up and above all solo travel it up! Until next time…
PS If you want some laughter on the comedy of love, join Wanderful Wednesdays weekly email where you can read the newly launched series ‘What Would Carrie Do?’, a dash of Bridget Jones, a splash of Mr Bean, and a sprinkle of Sex and The City! (click here to get yourself on the email).
If you’re asking how do I start traveling alone, and want to know how to plan your very first solo travel adventure, please click here on my new Solo Travel Masterclass to find out more. This solo travel course is unique and truly one-of-a-kind. This easy-to-follow course is launching on 11th May 2022 and I cannot wait for you to see it!
You can also sign up via the website to be added to the list and will be notified in the month before launch. Happy travel planning gorgeous lady!
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